I have received my “the Census is coming” letter. Hopefully you did too, because this is The Most Important Census of Our Lifetimes. Stand up and be counted, or else much-needed funding or representation will go elsewhere — maybe to a county or state that’s more heavily populated with people who don’t think like you.
It used to be that every election was The Most Important Election of Our Lifetimes (a favorite theme at places like Daily Kos and Free Republic). First there was the Most Important Presidential Election of Our Lifetimes, and then there came the Most Important Congressional Elections of Our Lifetimes. But that idea has gotten old and no one listens to it any more, because these Important Elections don’t prevent bad stuff from continuing to happen, even if your side wins. So, now it’s the Census that’s the next logical thing to become critically important.
I wonder what becomes Important next, once the Census doesn’t help anything either. I’m guessing it will devolve to The Most Important NCAA Bracket of Our Lifetimes, followed closely by The Most Important American Idol Vote of Our Lifetimes, finally winding up with The Most Important Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pie of Our Lifetimes. When the ensuing Most Important Food Fight of Our Lifetimes does not yield clarity, then we will have reached that great void from whose bourn no civilization returns.
And that’s how the world ends. So, please fill out your Census.